More Perspectives
OPENING THE SPIRITUAL VALENTINE :
TRUSTING IN LOVE AND LIFE
Dear Little
Light:
Several years ago I was
divorced from the man I had thought to be the love of my
life. He had betrayed and deeply hurt me and our
children. Since then I have had sufficient opportunity
to be with other men but can’t seem to muster up the
courage to take a risk in loving again.. I like the idea
of sharing my life with someone if I could be sure that
a close relationship would not create pain and havoc
again in my life...especially now when my home and
lifestyle are fairly peaceful and stable. And I don’t
want to subject my children to the possibility of more
heartbreak. But I feel very alone at times and wonder
what I am missing.
Afraid to Take a Chance
Dear Afraid to
Take a Chance:
To put our faith and
trust in another whether it is romantic, family,
friendship or the opening to a stranger is the greatest
gift we can give to another. It is also the most blessed
level of soul opening and connection that enriches our
own lives.. But it can only be birthed from the release
of fear and darkness that holds us captive in the past.
You have been severely
wounded and your victim story and attachment to that
story create normal human reactions of self protection
and defense. It also human to desire to shield your
children from further pain. And yet, in Truth, Universal
truth, all pain has purpose, all challenges bring
opportunity. And from that perspective, perhaps you are
being asked to open to the possibility that it is your
perception of reality that creates fear, not reality
itself.
To be more conscious of
your own world filter consider what beliefs were born
out of the heartbreak you experienced that guide your
life now.. How do you see your role as a potential
partner or your accountability in your past marriage?
How do you judge yourself and your ex-husband? What
messages do you use as your inner mantra that say “I
cannot” or “ I am not..”? Within the belief pattern lies
fears..fears that if you name them allow you to begin
the journey into releasing them: Fear of not being
worthy of love? Fear of not being safe emotionally? Fear
of not being the perfect mother ?
As you name the fears
and tune into your beliefs, meditate upon the gifts that
your painful experience has brought you. The gift of
survival beyond devastating hurt. The gift of
independence creating your own empowered “stable and
peaceful lifestyle” The gifts of strength and courage.
And know that these same gifts were also there for your
children if you give them the opportunity to see them!
Through gratitude for
all that life affords us, we find the antidote to being
and living the victim. We create the potential for
forgiveness of ourselves and others. Through
acknowledging the fears and beliefs that hook us into
past stories we have the choice of new behavior and
fresh perspective. Your path and your childrens’ can
unfold more joyfully when you are willing to embrace it
all, honor it all, forgive it all. Here is where you
find what you are missing. Here is where trusting in
love enters with faith that all transpires for your
good..
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LITTLE LIGHT PERSPECTIVES : HOW DO I KNOW MY PATH?
Dear Little Light: As an artist I
have been working for years to accomplish my dream of a
career in art. My intuition tells me that this is my
path and I am encouraged by the praise of others. But
when I realize I am not even close to making a living in
my chosen field I become very discouraged. It is also a
tremendous struggle at times to keep going in field that
is so dominated by the ability to sell your work rather
than simply doing it. How do I know if I am not merely
fooling myself or if I am supposed to keep pursuing this
dream? Wishing I Knew
Dear Wishing I Knew: As we pursue
our authentic self it is normal for inner doubts,
feelings of discouragement and inner turmoil to arise.
Believing in ourselves, in our divine purpose on this
planet despite external form, is a challenge that
encompasses every aspect of our egos and our view of
reality.
As an artist, ask yourself what you
experience in the midst of creating your art. And what
do you experience when you are living your life apart
from your creative process?
Doing the work we are divinely inspired to
do brings us a quality of knowingness like no other..one
of peace, of serenely feeling radiantly alive. We are
each individual vehicles of a higher consciousness that
frees us from worldly concerns in the timeless moments
of performing our true work. It is the attachment to ego
needs of outer approval, success, financial security,
comfort and recognition that holds us hostage to
doubting our path. All of these needs are about a time
and a form that can and does change, but as we hold to
the vision within we are in accord with the timeless
eternal reality.
If your purpose in this life is to provide
the world with the gift of your art, then you may need
to let go of attachment to outcome. That will involve
not only surrendering to the idea of not succeeding as
your ego demands, but to also to face the possibility of
actually succeeding! The same intuitive self that guides
your creativity can help you answer the question: What
fears do I hold about becoming who I truly am?
As we create our true life purpose we
become faced with fears that continually draw us to
challenges ( like “selling one’s work”) and experiences
that can keep us stuck. But if you become attuned to
your inner blocks and are willing to acknowledge their
hold on you, your awareness can transform outer reality.
When you permit yourself to experience what
you feel not just as an artist, but as a human being you
will know from your deepest core the nature and
direction of your path.
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How
And Why Should I Forgive?
Dear Little Light:
Everyone talks about the spiritual importance of
forgiveness, but frankly I don’t get what it means.
I’ve cut off all contact with an emotionally abusive
father and the thought of forgiving him for all the
heartache he has caused me and my family makes me
ill. At the same time I feel guilty for not
communicating with my own father especially since he
is getting older and is alone. If I could forgive
him would I be able to find any love for him which I
don’t feel right now? Would he become a kinder
person? And how do I even go about forgetting all
that he has done to me? D. C. K.
Dear D.C.K.
When we have been wounded or harmed by another we
have two clear choices in relating to the past. We
can hold onto the memory of the pain and empower the
low debilitating emotions of anger and resentment.
In that choice we continue to live as victims of our
own discomfort. Or we can choose to create a new
pattern in the now moment by releasing our self
destructive feelings by calling upon Universal love.
In that choice we find the peace of our more highly
evolved , more energized self.
We hold onto the hurtful past when our ego dominated
thoughts and memories need us to be right, to gain
the sympathy of others or to seek comfort in a
desire for revenge. As you mentally relive the
heartache of experiences with your father, delve
into your personal integrity center and ask: “What
keeps me attached to old suffering? And if I let go
of blaming my father for the past, who is
responsible for my feelings in this moment?”
In the present moment we each have the opportunity
to use our conscious awareness to realize that no
one can hurt us without our consent. Our consent is
given when we allow another’s words or actions to
call up wounded aspects of our past that we are
holding in the present. To walk the path of
the spiritual warrior means to be centered enough in
your own awareness to use it as a shield from the
past. ..and choose a new reaction!. For you
that reaction may be to reconnect with your father,
set limits on your relationship, or send him love
energetically..even when you do not feel like it..
Forgetting about what he has done is not the issue.
The issue is not allowing yourself to not use the
memory of the past as a weapon against your own
happiness now !
Each and every moment in life contains the seed of
intentional rebirth. If you set your intent to
recognize your father’s abusive behavior as simply
his own pain coming forth, you gain freedom from
feeling personally attacked. And you move another
step forward in the process of forgiveness. For the
choice of how you react and how you feel toward
yourself and your father is connected to the power
of forgiveness.
When you begin to see another with eyes of
compassion instead of accusation, with emerging love
instead of suppressed rage, you create higher
energies to move you forward and let go of the past.
Forgiveness allows us to transcends all aspects of
time. And the love and compassion you send to
another through forgiveness is also a blessing to
yourself. It allows you to release the guilt
of detachment, the holding to an outcome that you
cannot control like expecting your father to be
kinder, and provides you with the greatest gift of
all: Your own healing.
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Transforming Yourself: How To Be
Kinder
Dear Little Light:
As much as I want to be
kind and caring person there is a part of me that comes
out with churlish remarks, sarcasm and hurtful words.
It’s like a demon that takes over, a dark side of me
that I detest and makes me ashamed. But I can’t seem to
help it for if I feel criticized or defensive I go on
the attack. I am always sorry after, but there are only
so many times I can apologize before my
spouse/friends/co-workers stop believing me. How can I
cultivate a consistently more loving way of being?
Don’t really mean
it.
Dear Don’t Really
Mean It:
Each
of us sees the world and others in it from a unique
perspective that is attached to ego experience. When we
gain awareness of that colored filter we open to the
soul experience of co-creating greater love and harmony,
both within ourselves and with others.
Even though
you feel ‘criticized or defensive” does not
necessarily mean, in truth, that you are being
criticized or attacked. Your own attack reaction is
based on taking personally the words and actions of
others, allowing old wounds within you to be reopened, a
hurtful past experience to take control. You might begin
this journey into your inner self by examining these
episodes of feeling criticized and ask your self: what
feelings are coming up here for me? What is creating the
need to react as I do? Your belief about what is
being said or done to you is critical to understanding
that on some level you have decided to attach to a past
story and the pain it holds for you. The past is where
the ego loves to hide and control , the present moment
is where your soul may claim its freedom.
If you can bear witness
to the “demon”‘ within through observing your feelings
without judging yourself, you can take a step forward in
greater awareness. What is without is within. The
attacks you perceive are mirrored in your own guilt and
shame in your reactions. To change the outer one must
start with the inner truth. Recognize and acknowledge
that dark side present in each of us . It is the place
where you deny your own divinity by holding onto
feelings of hurt, anger, rejection,
disappointment.....all those lower vibrations that keep
you separate from the One Source. As you become
conscious of your feelings and how you are attached to
them, you gift yourself with choice..the choice of a new
reaction. Your feelings are real, your interpretation of
them is simply that:an interpretation.
The divine you is
bringing forth challenging interactions so that you may
release old outdated interpretations that have mired you
in the muck of an irrelevant past. Every single moment
in life brings new choice. Every now moment is a fresh
chance to create a new reality. This is the eternal
nature of our highest self. To claim that self means to
gain impeccability of your word with others and more
loving reciprocal kindness in every interaction..
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Little Light Perspectives : Friendship Challenge
Dear Little Light,
I have a friend I love dearly
and have known since childhood. She is more like a
sister to me than my own blood sibling. However, she has
a way of sometimes monopolizing the conversation with
irrelevant and unedited stories of people I don’t know
and don’t wish to hear about since it is all gossip. I
do not encourage her in any way verbally in this
behavior, but she seems to be completely oblivious to
the fact that I have tuned out. She will go on and on
not even noticing that I am not looking at her anymore.
I so want our relationship to be more sharing of our own
lives and not about others, but I do not want to hurt
her feelings by pointing out this distressing and boring
behavior. Any ideas?
Frustrated friend
Dear Frustrated Friend:
One of the gifts of a relationship is in the
opportunity to unveil, cherish and be in our authentic
self...while still communicating with love and
compassion.
As your friend gossips about others, ask
your self: how are you present with your own
truth? What is your higher self asking you to consider
about the verbal poison being expressed, and by your
silence how do you assent and approve or even encourage
it? First be clear that this gossip is not triggering a
place in you that still holds to judging and being
critical of others.
If your friend’s behavior is not in sync
with your integrity, then you may be drawing to you the
chance to see your own victim self..a piece present
within each of us. For to listen and be present
willingly to negative talk and energy is to unwillingly
be abusive to oneself.
Now is the time to be in consciousness of
who you are and what you need. Attend to and acknowledge
that part of you that may be attached to pleasing
others, not speaking up for fear of disapproval or
rejection. As we let go of old patterns that no longer
serve us (like gossiping) , we must also be willing to
claim the power of our own genuine truth.
To gently and lovingly tell your friend that
gossip and long stories of others is not where you
choose to give your attention is to offer you both a
chance for spiritual liberation. It allows your friend
to reflect upon her own attached patterns of
communication which truly do not serve her friendship
with you. At the same time as you express your desire
to bring the relationship to a more connected level, you
release your own attachment to whatever holds you back
from speaking your truth. The willingness you model to
be living your authentic self from a place of inner
knowing communicated with love can only transform this
relationship.
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HOW DO I NOT TAKE IT PERSONALLY?
Dear Little Light:
My boss
is often so critical of me that sometimes I can hardly
even think of going to work even though I genuinely
enjoy my job. It seems little that I do pleases him, but
I know from experience and comments of others that I am
considered an effective and successful person in my
work. I feel very hurt and angry a lot because it is so
unfair, but I cannot express either because, after all,
he is my boss. So how do I cope with these feelings and
still stay in a job I believe is the right one for me.?
Torn Tom
Dear Torn Tom:
In the
criticism and verbal abuse from others we see the fog
of our own smoky mirror, the mirror of our inner
emotional world, of past hurts and wounds. It is our
spiritual challenge to cleanse the mirror and allow the
divine strength of our perfect being to emerge and
provide immunity to the barbs of another.
As your
boss criticizes you, first remember that his unkind
words are merely a non-conscious projection of his own
individual reality, an outgrowth of his personal
history, beliefs and judgments. In truth, whatever he
says has absolutely nothing to do with you!. But as you
consider a different more positive reflection from “the
comments of others” ask yourself, what about his
comments do you take
personally..for the simple reason that they trigger a
place in you where you may agree with them?
When
the remarks or actions of others make us “feel hurt and
angry a lot” we are attaching ourselves to something in
our own individual history of pain. Your soul has
now allowed you an open window to look into, feel and
release possible old feelings of “less than”, “not good
enough” or “poor me” that this situation with your boss
provides. You are now, on the highest level, creating a
new beginning, one where you can consciously decide to
no longer believe the self judgements reflected
externally in your boss’s words. To do so you must also
be aware that you are choosing to release any drama this
situation provides for you..like feeling sorry for
yourself, or seeking others sympathy, approval or
agreement. Patterns of personal importance which feed
the ego often hold us hostage to our wounded places and
deny the unfolding of our clearest strengths, gifts and
talents...as well as our divine knowing of true joy.
To
further ease your process of letting go of the belief
“it is so unfair", remember to bless your boss as your
spiritual teacher. Energetically sending him love and
forgiveness while also being clear about your desire to
acknowledge and release old hurts will change your
intent, and refocus your reactions. You are blessed
today with an opportunity to love yourself as you have
never before. Whatever you must communicate to your boss
will be birthed from that new consciousness in you that
recognizes the gift you have been given.
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LITTLE LIGHT PERSPECTIVES : ATTRACTING YOUR SOULMATE
Dear Little Light,
I am 30 yrs. old and have never had a long term
serious relationship. I have no trouble attracting men
but as soon as it seems we may be getting really
involved either he takes off or I become interested in
someone else. I would like to marry and have a family,
but don’t see any clear route to getting there right
now. How do I know if I am I doing something wrong or
have I just not found “ the right one.”?
Seeking
Dear Seeking,
In the art and endeavor of attracting a soul mate we
are provided with possibilities that may not be readily
apparent, both on a material and spiritual plane. It is
an opportunity to see if we are living our lives from
conscious awareness or simply being swept along in the
unconscious flow that often brings pain and
disillusionment.
If an in-depth relationship has eluded you, first
look to who and what you have attracted to date. What
understandings have they brought you about your own
needs to be loved, to be committed, your beliefs in your
loveability, or your ability to give of yourself?
Whenever a relationship ends, for whatever reason, the
soul purpose that drew the two people together is either
completed or postponed. If it is postponed, the lessons
of that relationship will return, often in a more
dramatic form. So now is the time for you to evaluate
your own hurt places, your judgements of yourself and
past partners. Here is the chance to embrace forgiveness
and be grateful for those you attracted to you as the
teachers they truly were.
As you become the conscious ( and non- judgemental)
witness of your own process you begin to claim the power
of the law of conscious attraction. Knowingness of your
own patterns, needs, easily touched wounds and places to
grow will help you become clear about who you now draw
to you. And by creating a conscious vision of the
relationship that best serves you, you stay in the power
of your most elevated self, one that believes in the
divine being you are who deserves the joy of deep
connection with another.
Remember that your ego/personality cannot see the
relationship that is right for you nor the “clear route
to getting there”, but your soul can. Trust the
limitless vision of your higher self. Affirm openness
and receptivity to that individual who is yet to be
manifested for he may not appear as your ego mind has
defined. And as you maintain awareness of your process,
hold to the practice of giving more love in all areas of
your life. Being in the flow of unconditional love to
ourselves and others creates Universal connectedness and
will draw to you ever increasing love in EVERY
relationship you choose.
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THE SPIRITUAL ART OF
THANKSGIVING
Beneath the November traditions
of family gatherings, bountiful meals and holiday
preparations lies the potential for the emergence of
a deep and life changing spiritual truth: The Law of
Gratitude:
Everything you are grateful for
increases.
Everything you are thankful for will amplify.
All that you bless will bless you in return..
Prepare your inner space now
with the awareness and practice of your personal
thanksgiving and your outer experience on Turkey Day
and every day will be transformed.
In this present real time moment
begin by simply looking around you. Bow symbolically
and with reverence to the abundance in your home,
family, work or play environment. Name and declare
the small and large gifts that the Universe has
bestowed upon you, from the ability to read this
page to the deep connection you may share with
another. Your higher consciousness will connect with
your thoughts and words of gratitude for your loved
ones, your possessions, your pets, your health, your
work, your talents, your freedom. With each thought
of thanksgiving allow your breath to flow gently and
easily to your heart center where love resides and
creates more gratitude. And with each intake of
breath remember how beautiful and divine is the
action of taking in the life force, the exhilaration
of being alive, the opportunity to be aware.
For it is through awareness,
through consciousness, that true thanksgiving is
realized and the law of gratitude is manifest.
As you come to recognize and
acknowledge all that you have to be thankful for
every moment of every day... from the involuntary
life supporting actions of your body to the glory of
a sunset on a crisp fall day, your awareness of your
abundance increases and multiplies. The vibration of
your joy accelerates. And in the process you become
a magnet for greater gifts bestowed upon you by the
Universe.
Others who vibrate at your
frequency of gratitude will now be drawn to you.
Like attracts like. You will be surrounded by more
and more loving, open and grateful individuals and
more and more satisfying experiences. There is no
limit to this law for as you feel and connect with
your gratitude you are the center of a gravitational
pull that continually expands.
As the consciousness of how this
law operates continues to grow, so does the
possibility of a deeper soul level gratitude for all
that you have found difficult to love and embrace in
your life. Consider all those situations and
people who have challenged you with a fresh
perspective of gratitude and you enter the path of
the spiritual warrior. When you open to blessing
whatever and whoever pains you for giving you the
opportunity to grow, learn and transform, you open
to the highest truth consciousness...the Unity of
all One.
In realizing that thanksgiving, the feast
of Thanksgiving day becomes a true celebration.
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